I Don’t Do Scholarships

My Job and I, we don’t get along. It entails having to talk to new faces everyday about a place you have lost hope in because you have not received your full salary for months now.

Some faces are easy to deal with because they ask you what they want to know and after getting the information they need; they leave or at least ask for an application form.

But there are those from the word go that get you thinking “Ok. I get the feeling that we’re in the general area of what brought you here. I have told you everything under the sun about us and all that you want to know so why don’t you move on? And while you are at it, could you please leave so that I can attend to others? Anyway, what brings you to this almost-shut-down-place-that-is-credit-crunch-hit? Why don’t you just leave me and my thoughts alone? Do you realize that now I cannot afford to have any hobby including blogging because of you and this place?”

But you dare not say your thoughts aloud. After all, this is what you are paid to do. To attend to them.

Then after a long silence spent studying the fees structure, the face turns to you and asks, “Mulinayo ku scholarships?”

You want to respond, “Scholarships?! What do you mean tulinayo ku scholarships? Since when do shut-down-places-like-this-one with hungry-for-money-recruits give scholarships? Will a credit-crunched sponsor give you scholarships when he cannot afford a roof over his head? Scholarships?! Let me tell you who needs a scholarship. I need a scholarship! If I had a scholarship I would be out there improving on my education and working for a bigger purse. When you look at me what do you see? A puffed-up-lady-from-too-much-Blackberries or what? Don’t talk to me about scholarships, I don’t do scholarships!!”

But you dare not say that aloud. Scholarships or not, you are here to get him to enroll.

I HATE THIS JOB!