Tom Writes to Jerry

Dear Jerry,

I have done a lot of thinking about what my workers have said about having you arrested once you set foot on my organization. It is said that you have been killing cows. I want you to know that the views expressed by my workers are their own and do not necessarily represent my views. I mean you and I have shared a strong passion for cow milk for ages. I know you can’t kill cows except perhaps for their meat, another of our delicacy.

The main reason I decided to write you this letter is because our organization could do well with some funding since the credit crunch has bitten us. You see one of the conditions for our organization to get funding is to become a member of the Tea with Milk crew so I joined. Voluntarily. Nobody forced me to join. All members of the Tea with Milk crew must arrest anyone found to be killing cows.

Secondly, you know how much I love cows. If I fail to arrest you, the other members of the crew might kill my cows in revenge. I do not want that to happen. If I lose my cows, where will my crew get their tea with milk from, let alone their bread with butter, cheese and cow ghee?

I want you to know that I am very sorry for what my workers said and this is a special letter from me to you, saying please don’t come to visit us. My hands are tied. Once you set foot here, I will have no option but to arrest you for the wellbeing of my cows.

Love,

Tom

Disclaimer
The characters in this letter are entirely imaginary and any resemblance to persons living or dead or actual events is purely coincidental.