I remember this advert song that used to play on VOK. (Cavalier, do you remember it)?  Hii ni nyumba yako  Wewe na jamii yako  Usikaribishe wadudu kuishi na wewe  Wadudu ni hatari  Wadudu ni wachafu  Waue mara moja  Doom, doom, doom!  Dawa doom!  Then at lunch time it would be 'kuleni mayai, pia maharagwe. Hivi ndivyo vyakula bora vya kujenga mwili.'  As we prepared to go to school in the morning we had: '...jiepushe na uvivu tujenge taifa. Mwanangu, kumekucha amka wende shule. Elimu ndiyo msingi wa maendeleo.'

Our neighbour rears some pigs. There are 3 huge ones and 6 piglets. Often times, they set themselves loose and walk into our compound, much to our chagrin. My mom does not like pork. When she told me that sometimes pigs barked like dogs, at first I did not believe it until I heard one pig bark last week. “When I first heard these pigs bark that is when I said to myself ‘Surely! People are not supposed to eat pigs’,” she said. I mean, think about it. Eating something that can bark is like eating a dog. Then on Sunday, one of them clucked like a chicken. I have not heard them go ‘ee-I, ee-I, oh’ like the ones in Old MacDonald’s farm. I guess my neighbours pigs are of a Japanese-Polish breed. http://www.bamfield.eu/sounds.php mentions how pigs make different sounds in different countries: Pigs in Britain, Spain and Italy are thought to say 'oink, oink'. Portuguese pigs go 'roncar'. Japan, they go 'buu, buu'. French pigs go 'groin, groin'. German pigs, in c...

“Good morning, listeners,” Pepper said. “And with The King of Pop being laid to rest today. As a tribute to him, we have a question for you. What is your favourite Michael Jackson song? We’d like to hear from you. The number to call is 2345678 on all networks.” “My favourite of MJ’s song was Speechless. It sounds so heavenly,” said Charlie, her co-host. “Mine is Billy Jean because of the moonwalk,” Pepper broke in. In the background is ‘heal the world’. “Hello” said someone on the line. “People are dying in Soroti and you are here talking about MJ. Even you Pepper? Your uncle’s wife comes from Soroti but you can’t even think of talking about her people?” “Wait a minute. Listen to me young man and listen well. You have no right to tell me what is right and what is wrong. Before you ask me, what have you done for the people in Soroti? At least for me I haven’t only helped people from Soroti but I have helped people from other places as well,” Pepper retorted. “Besides, this is the only d...

Mudamuli…Mudamuli! How shall I describe you? Your words are feathers that catch their target by surprise because…they sting! And you seem to know the quickest formulae for provocation. Otherwise, are you well? Do tell. You seem to have a special liking for Eggie these days, but let me warn you. He hates surprises. If you want to be his friend, don’t keep making disappearing acts. As for Cucumber, he loves attention. The more you ignore him, the crazier he gets. As for me, I get bored easily, and when I do, I move on to the next exciting thing or person. I don't kwelumya . I like to enjoy life to the fullest without any qualms. Speaking of which, I had a lovely time with a gorgeous lady I met last week, who had the perfect manicure and pedicure. Still, Pepper's the one I want. By the way, who is this Tamzel? Is she your sister? I found her post about me very amusing. How did she know I loved baking? Hmmm. Maybe I should give her a call one of these days and see what happens. C...

To appreciate Michael Jackson, you must try to put yourself in his shoes and see why he was the way he was. People saw Michael Jackson through different lenses. While some viewed him solely through the lens of child molestation allegations and the perception that he bleached his skin out of shame for his race, others recognised him as a legend, a man with human weaknesses like any other. So, I start with the death of Michael Jackson. On January 25, 2009, he was reported dead. I could not believe that the King of Pop could be dead. I first heard the breaking news on Vision Voice from Earnest Wasake a few minutes after 1 a.m. I could not believe that I was the first to break the news to my Mom because she is always on the BBC. But by the time the news of his death came, Mom had already switched off her radio and was asleep. I woke her up and broke the news to her. At that time, there were conflicting reports about MJ’s status. Some stations were saying he was in a critical condition, w...

Dear Mudamuli, I like it when her hair is all out. Girl is she hot! She was wearing this…ok, let me not bore you but the thing is, I love her… Yesterday I sat near her, but I couldn’t think straight. She is extremely beautiful. I mean, how do you describe someone more beautiful than the sunset? You should see this picture I have of her. And I am not saying that because of anything else. I think she is. She has this mystery around her that I find more intriguing than the moon. I want to be with her all the time. I think I can learn a lot from being with her. I think I love her. More than I would want to admit. I hate the fact that we cannot be together because she’s already seeing someone else. But you never know, one day… Bye for now, Carrot

Dear Carrot, Ever since you told me you liked her, I have never been able to admit that I love her books. I hate it that her writing is always interesting even without her trying. Now that you mention it, I think she is pretty, though not in an obvious way. Boy, I’m so jealous of her! I am sure any books I write will not be devoured with the same relish I have for yours. Yet are you that interesting? Yes and no. Yes, because you always have an independent mind, and no, because I rarely understand what you are saying. Would that I found something I would completely dislike about you. But there is none. Your weaknesses seem to make you even more irresistible. My heart is spilling over with thoughts about you. My brain is jam-packed with nothing but you. Infatuation. That is what it is. Enough for now, Mudamuli

Boy, is he charming! Why am I the only one who sees that? But then, I’ve always liked the weird things and dudes. My London pics are finally here, but I need to reinstall some programme on my computer for me to be able to use the scanner at work. I am praying for my own laptop and digital camera. Tamzel, I am sorry. I couldn’t post anything for you. It is clear. I have completely lost my writing spirit. Carsozy, Sleek, Dare devil and the rest, I wish I could write like you. Cavalier, Princess, Comrade, I miss your posts. Iwaya, glad your deep posts are back. Nev, welcome back. Cheri, I miss you. As for Baz, I know he’ll be back. Oh, and Dennis Matanda. Glad your blog is back too. And I finally got round to reading Half of a Yellow Sun by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. Mom was surprised I hadn't read it all this while. She also has The Blind Assassin by Margaret Atwood and The Pirate's Daughter by Robert Girardi, which I'll read next. Annoying, huh? I just can...

Part of my dreams have come true. First, I got to hear the Captain’s words, even though it was not as dramatic as I used to think it would be. You know those things of saying ‘Fasten your seat belts…’ Secondly, I finally met Carsozy and Ernest Wasake on Wednesday. Still flabberwhelmed about it. Nice weekend. Nev, get well soon. Lulu, I missed seeing you and hope you are fine.

Apart from taking me to her children's school and Buckingham Palace where I saw two foot guards from the Household Division marching around (the ones that wear scarlet tunics and tall black fur caps known as bearskins), the Victoria Memorial sculpture in front of the palace, my former boss’ wife walked me through the Piccadilly Circus, Oxford Street (where I saw many famous shops and restaurants), Regent Street, St. James park and then we entered St James' Palace to visit her friend whose husband is a chef at Buckingham Palace. Her friend also used to work there as one of Princess Diana’s maids or something. We had met her friend at their children’s school then she invited us to her place for tea. She had to inform the guards at the gate about our coming or else they would not have let us in. St. James is still a working palace though the monarchy has not lived there in quite some time. I got to see where Prince Charles and his sons live. I hear the palace is also home to Prin...

Just arrived in London today at 4p.m. It's 9 p.m. now. I am flabberwhelmed. It's beautiful, this place.